January is a tough month for my family, in both the ecclesial and in the biological sense.
Yesterday was the anniversary of my maternal grandfather's death. My Grandpa was a great grandpa, my confirmation sponsor, and a good pal. He could strike up a conversation with anyone, but he kept it real. He was one of the hardest working people I have ever known. He loved Johnny Cash, Clint Eastwood, John Wayne, and Aragorn from The Lord of the Rings movies. He used to heckle me about my (first) crush on Legolas (my tastes have matured since then, LOL) and about how that guy never seemed to run out of arrows (he had a fair point). He loved animals, cats and dogs alike. He loved ice cream and walks on the beach. He loved music, and while he wasn't a huge fan of classical music he certainly appreciated it, and he loved to hear me play the pipe organ. Bach's Prelude & Fugue in A Minor, BWV 543, and Durufle's Prelude & Fugue on the name of Alain were the last pieces I played for him. My favorite memories are playing Phantom of the Opera or Rigoletto for him on the piano in the living room, or sipping coffee with him in the early morning at the kitchen table in my grandparents' house. We are different people, but he was salty, and I have gotten far saltier in my old maidenhood, and I think he would enjoy that.
Yesterday was also the Feast of Saint Agnes, Virgin & Martyr. I went to Mass, and afterwards I reflected upon how, at the reception of Holy Communion, our departed loved ones are closest to us, how the veil between this world and the next becomes transparent and our souls are almost touching. And so I prayed for him and for all those in our families who have gone ahead of us. I prayed for their eternal rest and peace, and I asked for their prayers for those of us still fighting the fight here on earth.
And it made me think of those of our family, sometimes in the biological and always in the ecclesial sense, that we never had the chance to meet in this life -- namely the unborn, who are numbered among the Church Triumphant (meaning they are automatically considered saints according to Church teaching). I am talking not only of siblings lost through miscarriage but also the friends, family members, class mates, team mates, (the list is endless really) lost through abortion.
Today is the anniversary of Roe v. Wade, and it is a difficult day to mark. But it is also a day of hope. For as we fight for the rights of the unborn of all those who are vulnerable, we remember that the unborn, now numbered among the Church Triumphant, are also fighting for us through intercessory prayer. And so, we greet the anniversary of Roe v. Wade with a unique and strange attitude, for in the words of T.S. Eliot, we "rejoice and mourn at once."
Halfway through Eliot's play, Murder in the Cathedral, the poet reflects through the voice of Saint Thomas Becket on the extraordinary juxtaposition of Christmas Day and the Feast of Saint Stephen, Martyr. He writes:
"Is it an accident, do you think, that the day of the first martyr follows immediately the day of the Birth of Christ? By no means. Just as we rejoice and mourn at once, in the Birth and in the Passion of Our Lord; so also, in a smaller figure, we both rejoice and mourn in the death of martyrs. We mourn, for the sins of the world that has martyred them; we rejoice, that another soul is numbered among the Saints in Heaven, for the glory of God and for the salvation of men."
May we remember to draw close through prayer to those who are on the other side of the veil: our family, our friends, the holy men and women and children who have gone on ahead of us. And we remember that they, too, are drawing close and praying for us. We do not fight our battles alone.
Monday, January 21, 2019
Friday, January 4, 2019
Resurgam Reassessment 2019
Hello, friends!
Happy New Year! Last year I made a resolution to attempt to resurrect this little blog. While I wish I had managed a post per month, I managed about 9 posts this past year, which is a far cry from anything I managed on here in the past few years.
My second resolution for 2018 was to read 12 books and, thanks to the help of my friends and the book club I joined back in September, I have been able to accomplish this goal. I used to read for pleasure quite a bit in high school, and unfortunately during my college and graduate studies reading was no longer a means of leisure and enjoyment and so I fell out of practice. It has been refreshing to cultivate the habit once again. I am a much slower reader than I used to be, but I have found that in many respects I prefer this method. I like to take my time with a book as I get to know the author's style and the characters, and I like to ruminate on the stories with which I choose to engage.
Book List for 2018
Catherine of Siena by Sigrid Undset
That Hideous Strength by C.S. Lewis (The Space Trilogy, Book III)
An Immovable Feast: How I Gave Up Spirituality for a Life of Religious Abundance by Tyler Blanski
Made for Love: Same-Sex Attraction & the Catholic Church by Fr. Mike Schmitz
Compassionate Blood by St. Catherine of Siena, ed. by Fr. Romanus Cessario, O.P.
The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky
A Bloody Habit by Eleanor Bourg Nicholson
Flannery O'Connor: Spiritual Writings, ed. by Robert Ellsberg
An American Childhood by Annie Dillard
My Name is Asher Lev by Chaim Potok
The Grace of Enough by Haley Stewart
A Christmas Memory, One Christmas, & The Thanksgiving Visitor by Truman Capote
The Reed of God by Caryll Houselander
Some of my favorites this year were:
1) Catherine of Siena, a biography about the life of the Italian saint by Sigrid Undset, an author who is not only a brilliant historian but also has a beautiful and honest understanding of the Catholic faith.
2) The Brothers Karamazov, which is very long but incredibly worthwhile and proved to be a perfect companion as we walk through this difficult time of scandal in the Church hierarchy.
3) An Immovable Feast was a delightful tale of the conversion of Tyler Blanski, a spiritual-but-not-religious man who eventually found his way to the Catholic faith via Anglican seminary. His conversion story was a joy to read, not only because of the content but also because of the style. His way with words is absolutely beautiful, and he is a die-hard romantic in the Chestertonian fairy tale sense -- like I said, a true joy to read!
4) My Name is Asher Lev is a heavier, darker novel but intriguing and beautiful as it tells the story of a Hasidic Jewish boy who aspires to become a painter in spite of the misgivings and occasional animosity of his parents and community. This book was probably the most thought-provoking of the books I read this year, and turned out to be quite a page turner at the end!
And last but not least:
5) The Reed of God by Caryll Houselander, which is a beautiful series of reflections on the life of the Blessed Mother, and was a perfect meditation during the preparatory season of Advent. Disclaimer: I read most of it during the second half of Advent into the Twelve Days of Christmas. As a church musician, Advent is not an easy season for me to keep. I will have to be more intentional about it next year!
My resolutions for the new year: 1) to blog once a month, or to at least produce twelve blogposts this year; 2) to read at least nineteen books; 3) to cultivate the habit of practicing regularly at least three days a week, and to learn one organ piece by J.S. Bach, Dietrich Buxtehude, and Louis Vierne. It's difficult to make time to learn new music as a music director (odd I know, but true), but I miss it and I notice my skills are getting rusty!
It is the time of new beginnings: a blank canvas, filled with possibilities. To quote Bilbo Baggins, "Only one way to go: forward. On we go!"
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